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Barnsun – Rubber Sugar – I grew up when I got the first testosterone injection

The chance is that I arrived at the Lupa beach at the same time as on the beach Be-YOu-beautiful beach at the entrance. By then, we did not know each other personally, but I knew he would be there as one of the celebrities borrowed from the living library, devoted to talking to everyone about accepting oneself, love for oneself, transgression. Alex was involved in this latter topic: day and night in Budapest even Emma, ​​a lesbian girl, was a lesbian. But in December last year on his Youtube channel he announced that he realized he was a real boy.

Inside we walked and mingled in the day of the conversation and asked me to hire him first from a live library and soon we sat on the beach for half an hour talking. They heard the following.

Where were you born, what did you learn, what have you been doing so far?

I am 24 years old, in Budapest, with root, I was born here, I grew up here. I went to the drama school, I was an actress, but after a while I got stuck. I had to play a lot of heterosexual characters, and as a lesbian I did not want to identify with kissing boys and others … Of course, this is just a role and I could play it, but I did not want to work on long tracks. If I was watching a series or film, I never put myself in the figure of a girl, but I wanted to play the boy's character, but as a girl I could not play the boys. Lesbian roles are rarely found, especially in theatrical performances – Night and Day in Budapest is what I got, but here I got the chance.

How did you get into Dan and Night in Budapest and how long have you been on the screen?

I was already in the database and my friend worked there and said he would be bisexual. I went to the test, got a role. I spent about half a year on Night and Day in Budapest, then as a girl. I played Emma who is a lesbian and gets along with a woman who had a husband and child.

Did he meet the street during that time?

It was …

Was it bad?

No, exciting! I had to go on holiday in Harkany, went to the tobacco business, the lady who worked there and watched me. "You were in Budapest with Simon in the apartment before! Are they staying here?"I told you I did not, I just came to rest … Actually, if you meet the street, you can not downplay your character, you can not say"I'm not that– these were funny situations.

How do you look at the time you lived as a lesbian?

I think I was a boy in my life, but I did not understand it. When I was 14 years old as a lesbian, I could not identify with a lesbian. I did not see that I was a girl with girls, but I always felt like a man with girls. In my relationship I liked to be treated like a man – so I always felt like an outsider in a lesbian society. I did not even like to say I was a lesbian – I said I was gay or I love girls.

When did you first realize that you might not be a lesbian?

At the age of 21, I saw a collage on Insta post with a boy and a girl to each other. "Testosterone Year" was signed. I checked and did not understand how to become a boy. Then I looked translucent, and then realized that it was the way I could go. But then I thought of my family, so I did not begin to transform. I was young, and I said that I would go, somehow I would get along with myself, with a cat, be a girl – but I could not.

Did you have a turning point or experience that has changed your attitude?

Last year I was a volunteer at the Sziget Festival, representing the Labrisz association in a warm tent, and I was standing by a transsexual tent. There I met a transgender person there, and I met a transgender person who had a great influence on me. It was good to see boys who can live as men. I talked to someone, told him his life, and he told me "I think you're a transgender person". I said, "I? Do not kidding, I'm not a transgender person!By then I might have condemned transgression somewhere. He was a well-known boy in the nail of my friend, whom I always knocked on because of his can you dismiss femininity ?!"Then I was very feminist, I hated men – it was behind him."

But then …?

But then I realized that I was a transsexual person, I was a little overwhelmed, I was confused about what was happening to me now. At that time, I had the girl we were together, she helped to handle it, and she said it when she found out she knew she was a transgender person, just waiting to recognize it. Testosterone treatment we started on September 13 last year, and since then I live as a trans-boy.

Do you like to talk about this subject?

Yes, because it's very exciting! Even for yourself. It is very strange to see how my body changes from week to week, from month to month.

How does this change?

Brutally, how much! In places where I do not get used to the girl I get hair – this time I shaved for this event, though I have blond hair that hardly looks. I do not train, but I have muscles, my face has changed, my body instead of tan. Sita completely disappeared with testosterone, but the first change I noticed was the so-called. Growth of the bottom, which means lower growth. I went to pee, and I saw that he grew up there.

Obviously not only will your body be changed from testosterone …

No, not only did my body change, but my thinking, my glow, also influenced everything. I think I grew up when I got the first testosterone injection. I became more serious than I was, since then I see the world completely different.

You already have a lot of videos on your Youtube channel, are you planning to continue documenting this process?

Yes, that was my plan from the beginning: if I start testosterone, I'll share my story with others. When I looked at testosterone and translocation, I did not find a Hungarian person who would document it or talk about it publicly. On the one hand, this is understandable, because transgender people want to integrate into society, involve themselves in a man / woman without taking over what they are born into. Always American, German, Spanish etc. I've seen cattle talk about it. On the other hand, it's important not to be so invisible, let's dare talk about it. Transdanubians are not only invisible in Hungary, but also globally, do not speak transgender people, do not deal with them, we are left behind.

I have the impression that when it comes to transgression in the media, rarely, we usually see girls. Do you also see that boys are even less than girls?

Recently with the transgression, you can more often meet in the media, but nobody deals with trans-boys. However, there are more rough changes in trans-boys than transgender persons. Women can create a nice vagina by surgery, but for us, the falus looks like it can not deny that it is an operation because it takes the skin from more places and puts a small hydraulic lever … that's what every other woman is doing – but we have two scars after breast surgery. What do I tell you I had heart surgery? How was the tumor? We, the trans-boys, would not deny our former self. Transgenes are easier to fit.

What is the feeling when you come to a beach where everyone is in a bathing suit, while your swimsuit is obviously not an option?

Do you think …?! I'm sitting here in sports shoes and shirts, lying in the water, but I can not get in. If I get my shirt now, people will see I have a huge clutch on my chest. Prior to month or month, I realized that I could not go to the beach until I did a top-notch operation. How would I go to the beach? I will not take the upper part of the bikini – hair on the belly, the ankle and the armpits. The solution could be bathing in the shirt, but that would not be so good. I can not wait a minute when the top operation is ready and it will take 3 months – because you have to wait until the wounds are completely obscured – and take the upper part. If it's winter, it's summer, I do not care, I'll walk down the street, naked, fixed!

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