For those who like to keep Britain quiet, it’s hard to accept all this good news. Vaccination data are shocking. Nearly 20 million first doses were administered. Advanced procurement plan. The leading big country, far ahead of the US and, what is more appropriate for us, the removal of removal funds, miles ahead of Europe. Nothing could be more depressing for an honest British liberator who disgusts himself. You know the guy. Recycle diligently, but fly once every two weeks.
We can’t say we didn’t run well. The past few years have been wonderful. All positive stories can be written off as coincidences or statistical deviations. There is a lot of bad news that confirms what we already knew: Britain is a sad, gray little island of plague in the Atlantic, unable to give up its past glory and moving with a full inclination towards irrelevance. Brexit was Gloomster Glastonbury.
The early days of the pandemic were also promising. We had interference due to locking, the PPE fiasco and the passage of Barnard Castle. It all reinforced our narrative of complete incompetence. Simply rolling your eyes was usually enough to transfer your membership to the said club. What do you expect from 10 years of Tory rule? The turkeys voted for Christmas. I am worried about our children and grandchildren.
Singles have not been so good since Suez. But this year, life is increasingly confusing. The fiasco of interrogations and clues was comforting. It has been proven that when the Tories combine public money with private companies, an orgy of friendship occurs. Still, the vaccine program turned out to be a smooth collaboration of stubborn business people, a large pharmacy, and an academic institution. It’s confusing almost like Gillian Anderson starring Margaret Thatcher. Even Private investigator they admitted they were “harsh” toward the vaccine emperor Kate Bingham.
It turns out that Britain may not be just a vaccination in which it stands out. Article u Economist, which is not usually given to jingoism, highlighted the UK ‘s success in reducing carbon emissions. For several months last year, the UK did not burn coal. It seems likely that it will not burn at all soon. You could argue that we dropped the shows in China, but like everyone else. The bitterest pill is to beat Germany. Germany, the British who are just disgusted, is respected more than any other. Germany, which receives every immigrant, has sensible governments and has only always longed for peaceful European integration.
Several of the dozen or so vaccines Germany intended to order appear to have been caught up in bureaucracy. Surely the pandemic could not reveal the shortcomings in the existence of pancontinental uber-bureaucracy?
Shouldn’t all that technique have led to a bit of vorsprung? front page picture, one of the main German tabloids, last Wednesday read “Britain, we envy you”. Although Eeyorish Ms Merkel warns of another blockade, with less than 10% of the population vaccinated, our flax-haired prime minister is leading his country towards a summer of Weimar surplus. Mutti, how could you leave your fans in Islington like this?
American professor of economics Tyler Cowen, in a blog about Economist the piece said Britain was “greatly underestimated”, also highlighting our performance in AI and the enduring appeal of London as a global city. Yields on our bonds are significantly higher than German ones, indicating that hopes for recovery have progressed better. At the time of writing this article it looks like the European Football Championship, which will initially be played across the continent, will be held exclusively in England, which is a nice metaphor for this confusing year.
For gloomsters there is a ray of light. Amsterdam has taken over European equity trading stock? Tell me more. Truck delays and nightmare exports? Give it to me neatly. But wherever we look there are questions with no simple answers. Does Ed Davey deserve any credit? Isn’t Matt Hancock a literal devil? Is the United Kingdom actually … good?
We have to be grateful to the cricketers. Probably reading about the vaccination rate from their balloon in Gujarat, they struggled to invent one of their fiercest defeats in memory. When everything else is required, it’s nice to have failures you can rely on.