"We do not need to struggle for balance, we need to work on the obstacles that impede the natural flow of equilibrium". – A.A. Alebraheem
The balance of life is a mirage: the closer you get, the more you go far.
"How do you find work and balance of life?"
I am asked this question very often, especially when facilitating workshops. No matter the topic, the notion of balance always comes.
People believe my life is balanced and I want to know As I'm doing.
Stop aiming and you will find the balance.
Perhaps you feel disappointed – this is how most people react initially when I provide this answer. Five suggestions for productivity were expected, not a pun. However, when I pass them through some exercises, they realize that this simple statement has deeper implications.
Balance is not something we can achieve; it's a mental state. It is the awareness that life is not stable but constantly moving.
Life is an act of balance
"Freedom without discipline is foolish, discipline without freedom is folly." – Ilona Mialik
But what does it mean to lead a balanced life? Why does equilibrium seem like an elusive concept?
The paradox of equilibrium is that the more we pursue it, the more things seem to fall apart. Our concerns make us worry more.
The word "balance" is both a noun and a verb. It's no wonder we struggle to find it!
The balance is a uniform weight distribution that allows someone or something to remain erect and stable. When we see the balance as a noun, we believe it will bring stability to our lives.
Balance is bringing things into harmony. It's not something you can get, but something you do continuously. Life is a game in which many balls are constantly played in the air.
Albert Einstein said: "Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance, you have to keep moving."
Life is an act of balance – everything is always in constant motion.
No matter how much you plan, things will never go your way. Unexpected events are always shown without an invitation. Your boss will add a new meeting to your busy schedule. A friend will call you the last minute to cancel your dinner plans. Balance requires flexibility – we adapt to the moment rather than stick rigidly to our expectations.
Get work and balance of life, for example. Most people try to keep them separate – they build walls and then they feel worse. Approach to life as a whole; you can not organize your activities into separate compartments. Integrate everything you do – let every aspect of life feed each other.
Leading a well-balanced life requires letting go of control.
Research shows that the use of control to suppress our emotions both damages memory and increases stress.
Studies by the University of Southern California have shown that people with a high content of grit were more likely to persist in their use failing strategies to complete a task. Moreover, individuals who are highly self-disciplined, rely on logical analysis and willpower to achieve their goals suffer more when they face failure.
Allow things to fit, rather than forcing them to adapt to a predefined structure. Balance is an intrinsic human condition – it is within you.
Develop a balanced mentality
"The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, to recognize the great powers that surround us and in us. If you can do it and live like this, you're really a wise man." –Euripides
An unbalanced life feels like a constant battle.
You are trying to protect your "me-time" versus the priorities of all the others. You want to prevent your work from steal your family away. I hope you do not get distracted of the speed and uncertainty of modern life.
When the world around you is out of balance, you feel unbalanced. The external forces and the event distract your goal: create a battle between what you want and you what duty do.
The balance is less on how we assign our time, but we enjoy what we are doing in the here and now. What's the point of taking a day off if you're worried about what's going on at work? To overcome the feeling of balance, your mind must be where your body is. When you like what you are doing, stop feeling guilty or blame others for what you are nodo.
The balance is within you – it is your ability to stay centered in the middle of whatever is happening.
Equanimity it is the conscious and constant realization of the impermanence of life – it means being in the middle of all this – it is seeing without being captured by what you see.
Buddhists consider equanimity as the ground for wisdom and freedom – allowing balanced and emotional responses. The power of observation helps you stay in the middle of all this without losing your mind. It comes from inner stability.
Developing equanimity is cultivating the qualities of the mind that support it.
- Integrity. When we live and act with integrity, we become confident of our actions and words. When you make a decision from your heart, there is no room for guilt or guilt. Acting with integrity does not just mean doing the right thing, but living beautifully, as I wrote here.
2. Spirituality: Faith rooted in wisdom is something powerful. Your spiritual practice – cultivating the development of your inner self – helps to lead a well-balanced life. It is not necessary to follow a formal religion. Developing self-reflection, connecting with a higher consciousness or practicing meditation are also forms of spiritual practices.
3. Inner calm: Just as we exercise to strengthen our bodies, training the mind is the key. By practicing awareness, we can develop a balanced, calm and focused mind. When your mind is calm, you are less likely to explode when the world around you is out of balance
4. Wellness: Staying happy, healthy and social promotes a state of well-being. It's amusing me to take care of yourself. Have fun taking a walk, a meal, the company of others or just practicing a hobby. Do not forget to take care of your well-being. Take time for yourself
5. Wisdom: Most things are out of your control. People are responsible for their decisions. Events in life are unpredictable. Nothing lasts forever. By realizing the true nature, you can see the fluidity of life as a balance. Becoming aware of what drives the imbalance in your world is the first step towards a balanced life.
6. Freedom: Freedom is not doing everything you want, but you do not feel guilty about the choices you make. Freedom is a state of mind: you can conquer your fears. When you are responsible for your actions, you become free. Letting go brings equanimity: the more you let go, the more you will be free.
Five tips for leading a balanced life
Balance is not a destination, but a constant journey.
From time to time you might feel out of balance, and that's fine. Do not approach with a perfectionist mentality; accept the good enough.
Expectations make us lose our balance. High-wire artists make progress one step at a time. That's why they do not fall – they do not care about the perfect; they focus only on moving forward.
Here are some tips to get started.
1. Integrate all aspects of your life:
Stop seeing work, personal time and social time as separate compartments. Rather than compete against each other, they should collaborate. The removal of this imaginary wall will release a lot of tension. Integrate all aspects by applying learning among all of them.
2. Lose balance to find the balance:
Letting go is the key to letting things take their place. Sometimes you have to lose the balance to find it. Be open to taking risks. Try something different. If you have to stay at work after hours, take a break another day. Look for long-term balance, not every instance in life.
3. Prioritize your activities:
Knowing what matters is the first step. Finding the balance requires saying no to something else so you can do whatever you want. Most of the time we blame others, but we are the ones who do not make a choice. Let go of unnecessary activities, ask for help, be open to adjusting your goals and priorities.
4. Develop a balanced mentality:
Balance is not something external; it's inside of you. When something bother you, ask yourself why? A context out of balance can definitely affect you, but training your mind can neutralize some of the noise. Balance is a state of mind, not a hack of productivity.
5. Exercise journaling:
Set a little time to reflect. Keep track of how you spend your time: identify the tensions and think about how to make the necessary changes. Furthermore, journaling is a great way to capture all the good things that happen in life. Recognizing all the positive things that have happened during the day will make you feel grateful instead of stressing.
How do you look for balance in your life? Share your story.
This post was originally published on Psychology today.