Wednesday , July 24 2019
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say no – How to say no to an extremely intrusive friend



My friend, who is also my colleague, loves organizing events for his friends. Invite a lot of people, but always expect everyone to join him, regardless of whether they have already planned something for that day.

Since I'm one of his collaborators, but we work in different places, use Skype to ask me. This is our conversation started yesterday. We are Germans so the texts are freely translated. (Modified to hide personal information)

He: hey, do you want to go to the movie? I'm gathering some friends.

Me: maybe, what movie and when? 🙂

He: to the new ***. Next Friday at 8. We could go and eat something later.

Me: ah, sorry friend. I already have something scheduled for now.

He: can not you reprogram it?

Me: no, I had planned it months before

About 2 hours later

He: where would you like to have food after the movie?

Me: nowhere, I will not be there

He: let me know if you change your mind

A little late

He: what do you think about the restaurant ****?

Me: no idea, never been there

He: here is the menu (URL). Choose something in advance so you can order in advance Friday.

Me: it will not be necessary. I will not be there.

The next day, in the morning

He: do not forget to send your order for Friday.

At this point I started to ignore it

Him: you'll be right there Can I count on you?

Me: I have already promised others. I can not come with you guys and this will not change

He: we are already 9 years old. One more and we can get a discount.

Me: Do not expect me to help you with that

Him: think about it a little bit. I'll write to you again.

I think I've made it clear enough that I can not come and I told him I was busy that night. However, it does not seem to accept it as an answer. It happens every time he designs something, and I'm really getting tired of it.

How can I make it clear to this person that I can not come and that he must accept it?


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