It is hard to live through a heartbreaking split but it becomes doubly hard when you have to relive it again on a reality show, as an emotional Vicky Pattison has found out.
The former Geordie Shore star broke up with ex-fiancé John Noble in November last year but the hurt is still fresh for the 31-year-old, who revealed on this morning that he had blamed her for the break-up.
With the story of how her relationship with John fell apart while being aired on TLC, in the new reality show The Break Up, Vicky revealed on Instagram that she could only get through the show with a large amount of gin and a huge helping of burgers from McDonald's.
Watching her life unfold on screen, Vicky posted a pic of herself sitting on a sofa in a tracksuit, alongside her fast food offering and glass of gin in hand.
She told her 4.2 million followers: "I think I'm ready … Gin, Big Macs with bacon, comfies and some of the best people I've ever met in my life … if this is not the best way to watch tv I do not know what it is !!
"Outfit: @missyempire. Burgers: @mcdonaldsuk. Gin: who cares it's lit
"3 mins to my show starts on @tlctvukand my anxiety is at all new heights …"
The former I'm A Celebrity Queen of the Jungle had a unique way of getting through the heartache once again … she turned the show into a drinking game.
In a video on her Instagram story, Vicky said: "I'm playing a drinking game where I have to take a drink every time I cry on screen … and I'm f *** ing mortal."
The sting in the tail came with the heartfelt: "God I hate what that man did."
It was a stressful day for Vicky, as she broke down in tears on This Morning as she revealed cheating John Noble blames her for their split.
Vicky admits she has 'humiliated' over the images of him getting close to part-time model Poppy Owen at a nightclub in Dubai.
But John has refused to apologize and controversially claimed Vicky was at fault because of the "position" of fame she is in.
This left Vicky questioning her self-worth but is fighting to be back to her self-confidence and will hand back her engagement ring.
Vicky said: "We've talked a handful of times and he's instigated most of that contact to be fair.
"It's not positive, he's not remorseful, there's no guilty or contrition, he does not think he's done anything wrong.
"He says he did not cheat and did not do anything wrong. He actually said he was set up and it was my fault because of the position I'm in."
Vicky admits she does not love John and still feels angry for what he did.
She confessed: "I questioned myself, I thought maybe if I was thinner he would have loved us, or if I looked more like those 'girls he would not haven done what he did.
"But at the end of the day it's not about me, I could not make John love me or make him a man."
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